I think our brain works in magical ways

Do you remember having days/experiences when you swear your never going to forget how painful/bad/embarrassing the situation is ?!

They always say about child birth , you remember the experiences but your brain blocks out the pain , when you remember back on it ! Others wise women wouldn't keep having babies would they ?!?!

This time last year I was still dealing with my marriage break up , my nan had just died and my daughter was teething 7 just 7 teeth at the same time . Sleep wasn't happening , tears a plenty and consent lows .

A year on . Yes I can remember the key facts and some of how that felt . But the worse of it I can't . I'm sure if I really thought of it , really dug into my memory's .
 But on just saying were I was and what I was doing . Those painful moments don't make me want to hide.

Maybe it's because I picked myself up and brushed myself off . Maybe I just don't wana believe they existed . But I really really really believe the brain in magical ways !

I recently had a friend who's father in law was in ICU for a few months , he was in clear sound mind although poorly . He can't tell you much about his time in there . I believe that's the brain working its magic .

This may not be true , it may just be my wishful thinking . But I honestly think its are brain magical way of keeping us going .

Oh no ..

So last week we went on family hoikday to centre parcs longlet . Ever since my dads 50 th birthday we always go away .
 I'm very lucky that they still invite us and to have the chance if a proper hoilday . Even better this year as I am mental n a much better place .

So the Sunday before when little miss woke up with a roaring temptureture of 39.6 , rash and runny nose . Sadness started to kick in . I really wanted it to be a great time away , a chance for my parents to enjoy time with her .

So mission lets nip this in the bud began !!

Medciene , blankets , mummy cuddles and Disney junior to the rescue .  I was on edge all day as my daughter has had tonsaltis 3 times this year . So was praying it didn't turn into that !

Around about 4pm , I switched telly off and braved getting her to do something else .

Now it might only have lasted less an 10 mins , but I got her doing some puzzles !

It felt like a huge achievement and gave me hope for the following day .

We were very lucky that it was just 3 days of high temptureture and rash . She does still have a cough and snotty nose still .

But it didn't ruin the hoilday for anyone . Best of all my dad got to speand quality time with my little girl :-).

I am if course very lucky to have a healthy child . My heart goes to those who aren't so lucky .

We're getting central heating !!!

We're getting central heating ! We're getting central heating !!!!


I'm doing a little dance and hugging my little girl tight ! How lucky are we ?!?!

Having living in rented property before where I had electric heaters I knew how expensive they are to run . Ill be really honest and say I can't afford to use them . It would be like sitting outside and putting pound coins down the drain .
 We're near the middle of November and we are yet to have heating on . Hot water bottles and blankets are ruling the way.

 I was so grateful to receive this property ,it didn't matter there was no central heating or that I don't have a bath just a shower .  We had a place to call our own to be safe and secure .

So when the front door went , I never expected a bloke from housing to ask if I wanted central heating installed !
 I may have got a little excited and stared at him in shock !!

The old tenants had refused to have it installed . According to the man from housing , he just happened to be passing , and thought he would pop in to see if I wanted it installed .

 If I hadn't been here , if he hadn't popped in , we would never have had a chance of getting on the list again . And the application process would have taken so long .


With ever day that passes I realise how lucky I am . I'm glad we live in a country that when your down on your luck you have a saftety net .

 

Blashford lakes -Halloween event for under 5s.

Though pathways children's centre in ringwood , we were able to find out about a event for under 5s at blandford lakes .
 At a small cost of £2 , we got to do some arts and crafts . Explore the resvere with a guide and learn about nature . We got to build dens , peel toasting sticks , collect firewood , make magic potions , painting and play dough . All in 2 hours on a Tuesday moring .

 It was much much more than we expected and great fun . I learnt just as much as my little miss did . She lasted a good 1.5 hours and had good nap afterwards . We will defo be attending there next event and will encourage are friends to do so too .

 If you'd like to find a bit more about blashford lakes check out there blog here http://blashfordlakes.wordpress.com/

Slient Sunday

Feeling low .

Today I feel low . I feel lonely and I'm tired .

Weekends are hard as I have previously wrote about .

We have had a busy week , full of friends and family . Laughs and smiles . We truly are blessed.

But today I feel low , I feel alone . I feel guilty because my daughter Is with me , I should be doing exciting things with her . We have been out the house to the library and a nearly new sake , we have seen friends and nana . But I still feel guilty , I feel guilty that I haven't got the energy to do te same puzzles over and over . I feel guilty I haven't got the energy to take her to the park , when in my heart I know sh dosent want to go anyway she tired .
 I feel guilty te telly has been on all afternoon and I haven't been reading books or painting with her instead .

I think I feel guilty because this low comes from wanting things I can't have or I have to wait for . Or maybe it comes from being happy and that scares me .  Or maybe I'm scared because he next step is a big one and I don't want to get it wrong .

Maybe I feel guilty because I remember my childhood of always having my mum and dad there whenever I needed and my daughter dosent have that. I know deep in my heart that's not my fault , but I still feel guilty.

Maybe because the last time I started a new realonships was with my daughters dad and then I didn't have anyone else to consider when it came to If it ended .

Now I feel guilty for even wanting or pursing a new realonship. What if I hurt her without knowing it , wil she forgive me , how much does a two year old understand what if he is here on day and not another . What if I become one of them parents who allows loads of people in my daughter life without knowing it .

What if ?!

Ill be ok I know it , this is just a low day . It's almost bedtime and I can start a new tommorow . I hope I gav more thatpn 5 hours sleep tonight :-)!

Sainsbury's toy sale , thanks !

You may think m crazy for giving my two year old beads and hair ties ! 

I sometimes think I'm a little bit crazy . 

We were at sainsburys toy sale , I saw these horses 3 for £2.49 . My little girl isn't that interested in toys more books and puzzles . So I thought it might be a great addition and something she could do with her older cousin too . 

She loved them brought them in the shop by proudly handing money to cashier .  Once home she played for over and hour with them . Mummy helped thread the beads and tie the the bands . 

And for the first time when I asked themselves name she didn't just say horse or blue horse . She used her imangation and came up with a name I couldn't possibly spell .

Goes to show those simply , cheap toys can bring hours of entreat meant . I loved playing with them as much as her too :-).