We went ...

Today we went to church .  I have always been on the edge when it comes to what I believe .

I like the knowing that when the hard times come , I have a place to go and something to believe in .

Many of my friends are strong in the faith , they live by the rules and they attend there place of worship regularly .

I've always been in envy when those lonely times come of those who have a community to fallback on .

Today I went to church . I choose this church because online I had seen they have a crèche in a separate room , with audio to the service and a window to see .

We sat with everyone else but little miss was restless so we spent most of the service in the crèche .  Little miss was worn out from playing with there fantastic range of toys . And for me I got to sit on the sidelines and take what I needed from the service .


I don't come from a family of strong believers in faith . So for me to go today was a big step . I'm not saying it will be right for us , but without trying how will we know .

Today we did it , we haven't told are family , we won't tell our friends just yet . But we did it, we went to church and enjoyed it !!

Saturday morning = friends and park !!

My beautiful friends husband was working today ,  bonus for us is we got to have some saturday fun at the park !!!


 Perfect !!!!!

We got to feed the ducks , and hide from the scary geese !! 

Get wet bottoms going down the rainy slide !! 

Play shops , in the play house ! 

And a cheeky stop at the coffee shop for cake and tea !! 

Two happy mummy's and two happy toddlers :-)!! 

This is just a phrase just like every other one

You know , you've taken them to the park , you've treated them to cake , they've speant time with the friends . It's wasn't an effort you enjoyed doing it .

 Then the throwing themsleves on the floor starts , just because . The crying over a crayon , the I'm not going to walk anymore . There making it hard as possible .

That's when you rember there only 2 . They need to learn ,there testing the boundaries , waiting for you reaction .

We all go though it as parents , we all did it to are parents , we all learnt and we all found our feet.

It's just a phrase . The same as the I'm going scream at 2 am to play stage , the same as I'm not going to eat that stage , the same as I won't share my toys stage .

On the bad days you feel hurt , even close to angry . Why are they doing this ? Everyone is full of advice , that you simple don't want .

On the good days you remember that you will see the other side , just like you did all the others :-).

Sometimes weekends be lonely

A myth , the truth or just the way a lot of us single parents feel . Who knows but here's my view !

 Weekends when I was married were family time , I had to be home ( or made sure) I was home by at latest 3pm on a Friday . My husband would be home , it was family time . Even if we didn't have major plans , even of it was just boring chores . It was family time and if I made plans without checking I'd feel bad !

 When I became a single parent , weekends were no longer family time . Weekends were painful , they hurt , I felt alone , sad and wishing them to be over !!!

Maybe it would be different if I had A big family , if Sundays were a huge family roast round the table , but it's never been that way in our family . To be fair before my daughter it was e who worked all weekend!!

As a single parent in that first year I dreaded weekends . Give me a Monday moring any day , could we just squeeze on more day in between before Friday .

You see at a weekend , people return to there family's . You go to the park or the shop it's couples , family's . You see a person on there own you look down to there're left hand to see if there's a ring on it !!  You feel alone , scared and judged !!

I'm not the only one to feel this , many many of the single parents I have meet, spoke to and been a listening ear to feel this way !

For those of us who have come out of a realonship were you have once had these happy times , you grieve . You grieve for those times , for those feelings and what could have been . It's dosent matter if you've done the right thing or your happier now . It hurts !!!

I remember the first time I took my little girl to a family attraction on a weekend on my own . I felt sick ,  I felt like everyone was looking at me , I felt people would judge me  . It was hard , I felt low , I was tired but I did it , my daughter had a fantastic time . I had done it !!

Over a year on weekends can still be lonely , I still feel like I'm forgotten sometimes .

But the greatest advice I gave been given or have given other people is get up and out !

A walk , the park , a car journey a fun day . Learn to enjoy them lazy Sundays , put a DVD on snuggle , find a hobby .


It's ok to feel this way , it's ok to be sad , it's ok to grieve . Just know its ok !!!!

We've visited a lot of parks this week !

Maybe it's because I'm really going to miss the mild days .
Maybe it's because we don't attend playgroup everyday now .
Maybe it's because I feel guilty we don't have a garden .
Maybe it's because we love the fresh air .
Maybe it's because I want to wear little miss out .
Or maybe it's because I love them too .

 But we have been to a outdoor play park everyday this week , rain or shine !!!

We've been too ...... Poole park , Pottern park in Verwood , Calvers play park in Ringwood , Littledown park in bournemouth .

Discovering a new library

We love library's ! My daughter absolute loves books , we have bookcases full at out flat and at Nana's house . I don't blame her for loving books , I do too !! 

I have been taking her to our local library in Verwood since 3 months for Rhyme time , we both learnt are nursery rhymes from there . 

In January we discovered Ferndown library, bigger than Verwood  library with lots more books to discover .  In winter you could often fins us in there for a few hours at a time . 

So having moved to the border of a new county , I decided we should pop on the local library . 

I thought it might have an ok children's section , it would be good maybe some different books . Didn't have high hopes . 

How wrong could I be ?!?! 

My little miss ran in , as excited as could be .  Straight to the colouring table , with paper and crayons .

All that could be heard when I was signing us up at the desk , was mummy I'm colouring , I'm happy . 

She got her own little card , well 3 actually two able to go on key rings . 

She was so very excited about the colouring it took a full half an hour for her to notice the books !!  After potty training little miss I always got a little nervous staying too long in a place without a toilet , such as other two library's I mentioned . 

But this library has a toilet  and a children's centre built in !!! 

They run regularly story times, rhymes times and special events for half term . 

There's a huge selection of cushions, beanbags, sofas and bookcases to choose from . 

You can take up to 30 items out at one time for 4 weeks .  We came away with 11 books to read , with plans to return for a few more this week . 

Local library's are great free places to visit and what's great is in a children's section there's no pressure to keep your little one quiet . 

A spot of fresh air

Adjusting to not being able to drive everywhere you want and having to ask people for lifts takes a lot of getting used too !!!

  So in day two of no car to borrow , little miss decided she didn't what to leave our flat !!

With it being such a lovely day outside , I some how manged to with the help of the mention of the park get her out the flat !!

Of we set !!

Taking a dolphin for a walk ! 

Drawing in the sand with sticks , circles here we come ! 

My stunning little girl with an acorn ! 

What are this mummy ? What are they for ? Why do the animals eat them ? 

Spiders webs