A myth , the truth or just the way a lot of us single parents feel . Who knows but here's my view !
Weekends when I was married were family time , I had to be home ( or made sure) I was home by at latest 3pm on a Friday . My husband would be home , it was family time . Even if we didn't have major plans , even of it was just boring chores . It was family time and if I made plans without checking I'd feel bad !
When I became a single parent , weekends were no longer family time . Weekends were painful , they hurt , I felt alone , sad and wishing them to be over !!!
Maybe it would be different if I had A big family , if Sundays were a huge family roast round the table , but it's never been that way in our family . To be fair before my daughter it was e who worked all weekend!!
As a single parent in that first year I dreaded weekends . Give me a Monday moring any day , could we just squeeze on more day in between before Friday .
You see at a weekend , people return to there family's . You go to the park or the shop it's couples , family's . You see a person on there own you look down to there're left hand to see if there's a ring on it !! You feel alone , scared and judged !!
I'm not the only one to feel this , many many of the single parents I have meet, spoke to and been a listening ear to feel this way !
For those of us who have come out of a realonship were you have once had these happy times , you grieve . You grieve for those times , for those feelings and what could have been . It's dosent matter if you've done the right thing or your happier now . It hurts !!!
I remember the first time I took my little girl to a family attraction on a weekend on my own . I felt sick , I felt like everyone was looking at me , I felt people would judge me . It was hard , I felt low , I was tired but I did it , my daughter had a fantastic time . I had done it !!
Over a year on weekends can still be lonely , I still feel like I'm forgotten sometimes .
But the greatest advice I gave been given or have given other people is get up and out !
A walk , the park , a car journey a fun day . Learn to enjoy them lazy Sundays , put a DVD on snuggle , find a hobby .
It's ok to feel this way , it's ok to be sad , it's ok to grieve . Just know its ok !!!!
Very touching post of reflection of how your life has changed..I cant imagine how much it can hurt x sending hugs during those sad times x and good for you to get up and out and do things just for you x
ReplyDeleteI so know this well, i used to look out the windows on a weekend and feel sad seeing families going out together. big hugs my lovely x
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to sometimes find the motivation to get out, but you're right, doing something, anything is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs for the low times xx
I saw this when I was commenting on your PoCoLo post - I used to feel EXACTLY this way when I was on my own. It is so very hard. Bless you, I am thinking of you - your PoCoLo blogging friends are out here xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for your lovely comments . X
ReplyDelete